Example: Journal #1- Chapters 10-12 from the perspective of Jem
Sometimes I wish that Atticus was like the other fathers. All of Scout's and my CONTEMPORARIES all had fathers who did interesting things or had fascinating jobs. All Atticus could do was be a lawyer. He likes to play keep-away with me, but when I want to practice tackling he is always to tired or he tells me he's to old. for that stuff. As you can imagine it is very disheartening for a boy my age to have a largely sedentary and useless father.
One day as I was walking with Scout, air rifles in hand, and looking for birds to shoot, we saw a dog way off in the distance. "What you reckon that is out yonder?", Scout said pointing at the figure. "I don't know." I said scratching my head. Then as we looked at it I had the strangest feeling that we should go. Scout beat me to it and we marched off. When we got home Cal's reaction to our story practically made me jump out of my skin. I had learned about mad dogs in school. That probably gave me my sense of PERIL when we first spotted it. Scout usually loves to CONTRADICT Cal but she said no words and if she did it was INAUDIBLE. I was confused when the sheriff and Atticus showed up. I understood that he may want to help us but then when he just stood there. Then when the sheriff Heck Tate tried to hand Atticus the rifle I had thought that he had gone mad to. After Atticus took the rifle I was even more surprised. I thought that he would try to be all INCONSPICUOUS and sneak up on the dog. Then as I watch in dumbstruck awe, he takes of his glasses and lets them fall to the ground. He raises the rifle and hits the dog dead center. That dog was so far away I could hardly see him and atticus just hit him like he was nothing. I was so thrilled that he could do this. I would be able to brag for years before this got old. Then I realized, if he hadn't told us about this amazing talent by now, he must not want us to know. I then thought it best that we not brag. Even though I would have to face scouts CANTANKEROUS objections.
Final Blog
16 years ago
I liked how you used dialogue in your writing. I liked how you used the vocabulary words in the correct way in your journal. I really liked how you captured Jem's perspective by saying that most of the time Scout contradicted Calpurnia. I liked how you eneded your journal by saying that Jem realized that if Atticus hadn't told them about his talent, he might not want them to now.
ReplyDeleteI liked that you added parts from the book but you still made it interesting by changing things up and adding what you thought the character was feeling. I think that you should add more detail to your writing so you can drag out some of the more important parts, but I really like how you added your perspective on things.
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